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Friday, October 7, 2011
Hook for the Duck story
“What’s that Frank? He’s in the lead? Oh, look! There he is! Here comes Billy Bob Joe Bob III!” Billy and Lego were great friends, until that day. They were competing against each other, trying to win the gold medal for the Duck Olympics. They might still be great friends, but even bigger enemies. Oh, and here comes Lego, out of nowhere, right behind Billy, crying. He’s carrying a scarf. But why?
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Here ya go Jade!!!!!:0~
SPAZ!!!
TEE-HEE!
squirrels!
Little Jig-Jigs(My baby)
Jiggler-Puff
Nice hook it's funny and brings the reader in.
ReplyDeleteaw thank you :)
ReplyDeletethis is really good, it hooked me and it is easy to read and nicely written...you could use some more detailed words though, like what color was the scarf? Was Legos face sad? MORE DETAILS!
ReplyDeleteOkay dokey!
ReplyDeleteThis is set up very nicely. I find the conflict of how Lego and Billy were friends "until that day" be a more interesting hook than the question of why Lego was carrying a scarf. However, the final question of "why?" does leave me wondering!
ReplyDelete